In hopes of us having a small “wedding”–I tend to prefer the term marriage ceremony–we did this weird amalgam of events.  And I feel like the price tag is spiraling out of control.  My mother wants this and that–and she’s paying for it, so she can do whatever, except I’m going to hear about it later.   Thailand ain’t all that cheap if you’re not 19 and living in hostels.  In order to have a fifteen minute “i do” “i do” “you may kiss” ceremony on a damn beach in Cali it would cost $400 for a  freakin’ permit! $4,000 for a (cheap) tent at the event in October!

My friend Ruth sent me this link today at the height of my frustration.  I heart the efficient Swedes.  Seriously.  They’re the best.  I would totally get married in my car, if I had a car.  I wonder if the drive-up windows would deny service to people on bikes, or on foot, kind like some fast food restaurants with drive-up windows.

I’m a little late to the party on both of these.  Nonetheless, I share good things when I find them.

Mint.com.  Put in your info and it spits back how much you spend, where you spend it, and what you can do to save money and change your spending habits.  I use Quicken to balance my checkbooks and watch my student loans balloon, but this made me do a double take on what I spend eating out and on groceries.  Like, cartoon-style, eye-bugging, tongue-lolling double-take…and right now I need to be able to trim and cut wherever I can.

Speaking of trimming and cutting…Ravelry.com.  Apparently everybody in the free world already knew about it except me.  But luckily, I went searching for a book at StitchDC on Friday and the nice woman working there told me about Ravelry, and gave me her name so we could be Ravelry friends.  First of all, I heart StitchDC–namely, the little one in Chevy Chase, because the people are always so nice!–and secondly, I heart Ravelry because I sat down this morning and catalogued what needles I have and what projects I want to start next.  Srsly.  This level of organization is HUGE for me.  Next thing you know I’m actually going to complete a pattern.  Heck, maybe I’ll even finish a short story!  EGADS!

Today we drove down to Charlottesville to visit Lee Angelo Marraccini, in order to pick out a wedding band for John.  Now, I raved about the man before, but he went out of his way to meet us on a Saturday afternoon to help us pick out a band.  We found one that is similar to my ring and that John liked, and also had my ring re-sized.  We were telling him a little about our wedding and honeymoon, and then he steps into the back room for a moment.  He comes out with a bottle of champagne (made-in-France champagne!) from his friend’s winery for us, and gave us great big hugs, and told us make sure we let him know next time we’re in town.

(Does Tiffany’s do that?  I don’t think so. )

I love good people.  Go see him, even if you’re just looking for jewelry, not necessary wedding rings.

I’ve loved our little ritual of going to C-ville (this time, with Josie en tow, who even got to come inside the store) and meeting with Lee and then us going to out to lunch.  We’ve been engaged for just over a year now, and I now feel like we’re actually really truly doing something big and awesome and joyful.

It also set in when we came home from our trip to Dr. Rock Girl’s graduation (yay! yay! yay!  I miss Oregon beer already.  And Dr. Rock Girl…  And Dr. Rock Girl’s boyfriend, who now shall only be known as Mr. Night Moves) and saw a big package waiting for us.  John and I noticed that someone bought a gift off our registry a little while ago.  John started cracking jokes about how now that someone had purchased a gift, we really couldn’t break up now.  So, the gift–a fancy-schmancy coffee maker that we desperately needed to replace our crappy 4-cup maker– became the coffee pot of no return.  (Thank you, JP!)

With these markers, it all feels real.  Something joyful.  Worth celebrating.

And I’m happy.

comes the rainbow! I snapped this with my cell phone while waiting for the bus this evening.

to everyone who is getting married in California the past few days.   I’ve been traveling so this is a belated post, but this has been on my mind a lot, and so I say best wishes, congratulations, mazel tov, and happy legal entanglement!

“Showcase your wedding party!”

“Secrets of how a lazy procrastinator got super skinny for her wedding!”

“Custom favors!”

I use social networking sites. I like them. I like being able to connect with friends and family in that manner. However, with “targeted” advertising and marketing, I increasingly think I should permanently sign off one social networking site in particular. Every time I log on to Facebook, I get a slew of wedding-related advertising–customized to make me join “wedding book” or whatever it is, because some of my friends have; invites and favors (which don’t really bother me–that’s actually how I found my invites), and wedding-related dieting advice.

The latter is what really sets me off. I’ve also seen a lot of wedding-related dieting advice on TV, in magazines, and all of it is crap. CRAP! One workout video features a woman telling her audience, “Just think of how jealous your bridesmaids will be when they see you!” Is that really an enticement? Is calling me a “lazy procrastinator” enough of a push to get me to buy a diet pill or buy into a dangerous diet plan?

No, not me. It makes me want to delete my Facebook account.

is it international ex-boyfs-get-in-touch-with-your- exes-who-have-forgotten-about-you- utterly-and-completely week???? — dr. rock girl

Apparently so!  Somehow, at the moments where I’m realizing the full weight of my current actions, the life I have now, people pop up from my past, like that whack-a-mole arcade game.

I keep a blog.  I’m easily accessible and trackable via the Interwebs.  And yet, one of the things I hate most about social networking sites is that it makes the Rob Gordons of the world (book and film) simply have to type and click in order to track you down.  The Robs don’t even have to exert serious effort, say, reorganizing their LP collections while making phone calls to see where you are now.  They don’t have to deal with other people telling them–when the Robs ask–that it sounds like a bad idea.  If the Robs then go forth and still show up at your door begging for answers, at least you know that he really must feel a strong urge to speak with you.  (Not that it makes the experience any more pleasant.)

Where am I going with this?  I got a message from someone I haven’t talked to in four years.

Save the Date — Outside

Originally uploaded by loosegreentea

are OUT!

The ginkgo has become the “theme” for our event. There were four ginkgo trees that survived the atomic bombing of Hiroshima, and the trees are often planted in urban areas because they can survive even the most unforgiving urban conditions. Ginkgo trees surround the blocks near our home in DC, too. Ginkgo leaves are a symbol of longevity and hope.

We also booked our marriage license appointment at the SF county courthouse the other day for Aug. 1! WOO!

The past few weeks–as if you can’t tell by the neglected blog–have been busy. I thought once spring term ended, I’d immediately go into summer mode. Ha! I think I really just shifted into that gear today. After feeling like someone had drugged me last night; maybe that’s what happens when you subsist off wine and coffee for a few weeks, and then have two long-ish days and the first two days back at the gym after a few months of nada. Today, when I woke up, I felt like I had been called back from the brink of death. I could barely see straight, but some work going on in the apartment next to me woke me up. Walked the dog, made some coffee. Made the executive decision to go garden.

Gardening is like writing: I love the end products, but damn do I hate the work involved. But, the soil was wet from last night’s thunderstorms, and I wanted to get some weeding done. I brought my camera to take some photos… and forty photographs later, I cataloged what is truly a gorgeous place to be for a few hours.

Everywhere I looked there was something popping up, some splash of color where I least expected it. A tiny strawberry mostly covered in dirt from the backsplash of last night’s rains. I then had this mindset for most of my day: I walked Josie and noticed other people’s gardens, hanging baskets I had never seen before, widows’ walks on houses I not paid attention to previously. It was like when cartoon characters rub their eyes, making squeegee sounds, and suddenly see the light.

As far as what’s popping up in my plot: arugula, radishes and some very very early tomatoes (from my Early Girl tomato plant).  Lots of peppery flavors to signal the start of a new season!

It’s summer!

A fellow offbeat bride, Deseray, is putting together a really cool project, documenting family reactions to GBLT brides.  Check her out here and forward this info to any married lesbians you know (or their moms)!  I can’t wait to see how this turns out.